Your Characters Never Leave You

Kate Ludlow

I recently finished a show in my community theatre and have been feeling the post-show-depression really bad. My dad asked me the other day why it was such a big deal - "You're going to see those people again, and you have auditions for your next show in less than a month."

I was quite offended at this to be honest, but I kept my cool and replied: "It's not so much the people I'm leaving behind, or the fact that I'll have nothing to do with myself..."

Granted those things do play their parts in making our final show so difficult, but that's not the reason I get so upset.

"It's the the show itself."

It's the lines you had such a hard time remembering, and the feeling of adrenaline after saying it right. It's the blocking that you'll never do again. It's the jokes and mess ups that you think of during every scene. The words you spent so much time listening to and reciting, and now you're taking all of these wonderful parts of the show and throwing them out the window to make room for the next show.

"I'll never be Polly Wanda Cracker again," I told my dad. "I'll never get to stare dreamily at Sheriff Wayne John, or huff at Mr. Coldhart, and if I do, it won't be the same."

I'll never be Wendy again. I'll never be Annie or The Grinch or The Queen of Hearts. The times for those shows are gone, but they still have a place in my heart.

"I'm not as worried about getting the cast back together for giggles and reenactments. It's just that, I've been given this role, and I've practically become this character, so, in a way, I'm losing a piece of myself."

After my long explanation, my dad nodded and said..

"Well, I guess your characters will never truly leave you then. They're a part of you - they always will be."