Your Last Tinder Date as a Jason Robert Brown Musical

Betsy Wolfe and Adam Kantor in The Last Five Years Joan Marcus)

• Barrie Kealoha

Songs for a New World

You met for drinks, and they were engaging, dynamic, and full of ambition. After about date three, you realized that they had zero follow-throughs on any of their big schemes, and you broke it off. But you never quite forgot them—they always stuck around somewhere in the back of your head, like a particularly catchy song…

The Last Five Years

Sparks were flying right from the get-go, and you dated for a while. But things dissolved pretty quickly when they started giving you unsolicited career advice. The breakup was very messy and very public.

Urban Cowboy

You were supremely disappointed to find that they looked totally different from their profile picture. You decide to get through with it anyway, since you made the effort to show up. They’re a mess. You bail early. You stop going to that bar.

Parade

Things got real intense real fast. You started to back off when they told you they were dealing with some serious “work stuff”, but it was hard to get a straight story out of them.  They legit ghosted you after that. Introduced you to a great  place for bagels and lox, though.

13

Ew.

Honeymoon in Vegas

They were a little older than you’d usually go for, but you were willing to take a chance. Their wit and charm were endearing— right up until they called the bartender “sweetie” and made an off-color “hashtag-me-too” joke. You finished your martini and left disappointed.

Bridges of Madison County

Oh man. You get tingles down your spine just thinking about them now.  Everything felt like it was in slow motion. Is it hot in here? Why are you suddenly craving iced tea?