Ranking Every Musical on Netflix
Eli Azizollahoff
Unfortunately, with the global COVID19 pandemic, Broadway has closed. With this being the case, theater fans have had to turn to other means to satisfy their craving for musicals and theater. There have been many Instagram special events and live broadcasts of stars such as Broadway workouts, sing-a-longs, panels, and more. Additionally, many fans have turned to YouTube and other streaming services to watch clips and videos of musicals.
I have taken the initiative of watching every musical on Netflix and ranking them based on my own preferences. Yes, that’s right, in the last month I have watched every musical on Netflix.
For this ranking I judged each musical on four general categories: 1) the music, 2) the “cringe factor,” 3) is it worth watching, and 4) my overall opinion. I did include some films that may not be categorized as musicals on the basis that the characters are aware that they are singing in-universe, such as Burlesque. Additionally, there are a number of movies I watched – or at least started – before realizing they were about music, but not actually musicals so I only included a few of those, though there are many more if you are inclined towards that genre.
I should also note, the only musicals I did not include are the Trolls Holiday Special, for reasons that seem obvious, and a few other movies geared at very small children.
Without any further ado, my definitive ranking of all the musicals on Netflix:
18: Jem and the Holograms
Rated: PG
How’s the Music: 4/10
How Much Cringe: 9/10
How Many Stars: 0.7/5
Thoughts: Better than I thought it would be but not great. Initially subverts some clichés but then just falls into them later and becomes very cheesy.
Note: A movie about music, not a musical
Should You Watch It? No – 3.5/10 – it’s a waste of time.
17: Eric Idle’s What About Dick
Rated: TV-MA
Music: 3/10
Cringe: 8/10
Stars: 1/5
Thoughts: It felt like watching a live-action drug trip. I actually couldn’t finish it because I personally found it somewhat painful, relying heavily on British dumb humor and easy innuendo. It also had very few songs and barely felt like a musical.
Should You Watch It? No – 3/10 – it had a big name cast but I did not find it generally worthwhile.
16: Popeye
Rated: PG
Music: 6.5/10
Cringe: 7/10
Stars: 1.7/5
Thoughts: Since I never watched Popeye as a child, this movie had no nostalgia factor for me. Thus, to me, the only redeeming quality was Robin Williams.
Should You Watch It? Yes – 6/10 – it’s bad in a good way
15: A Cinderella Story: Christmas Wish
Rated: PG
Music: 1.5/10
Cringe: 10/10
Stars: 2/5
Thoughts: An easy rom-com with a touch of music and a heap of cringe and coincidence. Its just a good time. What I’ve heard been called “brain candy:” sweet and sugary but it’ll rot your teeth.
Should You Watch It? Yes – 4.5/10 – It’s bad in a good way
14: Country Strong
Rated: PG-13
Music: 5/10
Cringe: 8/10
Stars: 2/5
Thoughts: Sad and long and not worthwhile. Even with Gwyneth Paltrow.
Should You Watch It? No – 2/10 – the plot is also a 2/10
13: Cadillac Records
Rated: R
Music: 9/10
Cringe: 3/10
Stars: 2.3/5
Thoughts: It was fine but didn’t blow me away. Very gritty.
Note: A movie about music, not a musical
Should You Watch It? Maybe – 5/10 – depends on your general taste in movies outside of musicals
12: Mary Poppins Returns
Rated: PG
Music: 7.5/10
Cringe: 4/10
Stars: 2.5/5
Thoughts: It’s high production with a bad product. It felt like they were just trying to recreate the first film stroke for stroke without adding anything new or original and without Julie Andrews.
Should You Watch It? Yes – 5/10 – Watch it once so you’ve seen it and then never watch it again.
11: Emo: The Musical
Rated: TV-MA
Music: 5/10
Cringe Weird: 9/10
Stars: 3/5
Thoughts: Bad in a good way. They were trying to do something but I don’t know what..
Should You Watch It? Yes – 4.5/10 – “Jesus would have been an Emo”
10: The Dirt
Rated: TV-MA
Music: 8/10
Cringe: 4/10
Stars: 3/5
Thoughts: Biopic on Motley Crue. It’s dark and gritty and incredibly inappropriate. It has a good ending that most movies about rock-stars going off the deep end don’t manage
Note: A movie about music, not a musical
Should You Watch It? Yes – 6/10 – Watch it if you like old school rock and are okay with people acting high and crazy for two-hours straight.
9: Burlesque
Rated: PG-13
Music: 10/10
Cringe: 6.5/10
Stars: 3.7/5
Thoughts: It’s risqué but great. The music is enjoyable and Christina Aguilera’s and Cher’s vocals are amazing.
Should You Watch It? Yes – 7.5/10 – Not technically a musical since all singing is in-universe, but just roll with it.
8: Been So Long
Rated: TV-MA
Music: 4.5/10
Cringe: 4/10
Stars: 4/5
Thoughts: The musical aspect can get pretty cringey, but overall it feels real and include characters with disabilities and who have gone to prison.
Should You Watch It? Yes – 8/10 – Not technically a musical since all singing is in-universe, but just roll with it.
7: Jersey Boys
Rated: R
Music: 9/10
Cringe: 2/10
Stars: 4/5
Thoughts: Great music, dark and roundabout plot. Based off a Broadway show so will definitely fulfill your musical cravings.
Should You Watch It? Yes – 8/10 – a classic
6: Opening Night
Rated: TV-MA
Music: 7/10
Cringe: 3.5/10
Stars: 4/5
Thoughts: It’s a jukebox musical set in backstage of a Broadway show on its opening night. It is true to Broadway fans – bursting into song at every occasion.
Should You Watch It? Yes – 9/10 – not the greatest musical on the planet but definitely a fun watch for anyone who loves the backstage world of theater.
5: Joseph: King of Dreams
Rated: TV-PG
Music: 7/10
Cringe: 4/10
Stars: 4/5
Thoughts: Not totally accurate but a good watch and a fun time. Not quite Prince of Egypt but it gets close.
Should You Watch It? Yes – 9/10 – you’ll enjoy it.
4: Shrek: The Musical
Rated: TV-G
Music: 8.5/10
Cringe: 3.5/10
Stars: 4/5
Thoughts: It takes some adjusting at first – to realize it isn’t the animated feature and to see Shrek as human-sized – but stick with it because it gets great. It is also a recording of a real Broadway show so it’s the closest we can get to live theater these days.
Should You Watch It? Yes – 10/10 – it’s a great musical that deserves more love than it gets. Also, Sutton Foster as Fiona.
3: Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Rated: G
Music: 9.5/10
Cringe: 2/10
Stars: 4.5/5
Thoughts: It’s a very long film, but it’s incredible! Dick Van Dyke in his prime and the music always automatically puts me in a good mood.
Should You Watch It? Yes – 10/10 – it’s a classic!
2: The Princess and the Frog
Rated: G
Music: 10/10
Cringe: 1/10
Stars: 5/5
Thoughts: This Disney movie should be grouped with the classics like The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, and Aladdin. Hey Disney! Where’s the Broadway show of this one? We’ve got one of Frozen!
Should You Watch It? Yes – 9.5/10 – it’s an amazing musical and the only reason not to watch it is if you don’t like animated features.
1: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
Rated: G
Music: 9.5/10
Cringe: 1/10
Stars: 5/5
Thoughts: A musical that is a classic for a reason! Gene Wilder is a wonder!
Should You Watch It? Yes – 10/10 – how have you not watched it yet? And if you have watched it, it’s a movie that could always use a re-watch!