The Spotlight’s on Someone I Loathe—Now What?

by Chris Peterson, OnStage Blog Founder

If you've spent even a little time in theatre, you've probably felt that stomach-churning moment when someone you absolutely can't stand achieves the success you're chasing. Maybe they've booked the lead role you wanted, snagged rave reviews, or seem to effortlessly grab opportunities you swear they don't deserve. Trust me, I've been there—and I’m currently there.

Right now, I’m watching someone I had incredibly negative experiences with rise up in the entertainment world. And not just a little. Like... a lot. They're everywhere. Their name is popping up in my friends' social media posts and getting glowing reviews. Every time I see it, I get this mix of annoyance, disbelief, and—ugh—envy. And while my gut reaction might be to throw my phone across the room or roll my eyes so hard I sprain something, and I'm trying to take my own advice.

So here it is, for both of us:

First off, let yourself feel it. Be mad. Be jealous. Be annoyed that someone who hurt you—or at least made your life difficult—is getting everything you wanted. Just don't set up camp there. Talk to a friend who gets it. Take a long walk. Eat the cookie. Get it out of your system so it doesn't fester.

Next, focus on you. (Yes, I know. Easier said than done.) Theatre is wild and weird, and everyone's path looks different. Comparison is a trap that steals your energy and creativity. Reconnect with what you love about performing, directing, designing—whatever your thing is. Your journey might be messier or slower, but it’s yours, and it matters.

Now, here's the hard part: ask yourself if there's something you can learn. Is this person really good at self-promotion? Are they networking like it’s their full-time job? Did they simply stick around long enough to be in the right place at the right time? You don’t have to admire them, but if there's something useful to take away, why not steal the strategy without the attitude?

Protect your peace, too. Mute their posts. Skip the show. Say, "That's nice," and change the subject. You're not being petty; you're managing your mental health. You’re allowed to keep things at arm’s length while still being a kind, functional human being.

Also, remember that theatre success is never a straight line. Everyone’s timeline is different. Just because someone is winning now doesn’t mean you’ve lost. That’s not how this works. You’re still in the game. You still have talent, vision, and value. Don’t let one person’s spotlight dim your own potential.

Finally, try to find the humor in it all. Theatre is full of drama both onstage and off. Sometimes, the only thing to do is laugh about how ridiculous it all is—especially the fact that someone who once made you feel small is now on a billboard. Lean into your circle, the people who see you, support you and remind you that your worth isn't tied to anyone else's trajectory.

So yeah, I'm watching someone I loathe have a moment.

But I also remember that their moment didn't erase mine.

I’m still here. I’m still creating.

And honestly? That’s enough—for now.