How Growing Up Poor Affected My Opportunities in Performing Arts

Today, I live in a bigger town that is filled with 50+ different theater, dance, and musical programs. I wouldn’t call myself rich but I know at the end of the day I can afford the costs of performing in any production. However, I wasn’t that lucky growing up.

As a child, I lived in a town of about 30,000 people. It may not seem that small but it was small for someone with big dreams. Due to the high unemployment rate, there was only one theater that was in my city and a handful of different dance studios.

However, I was spoiled, in a way, because there was a performing arts school about 20 minutes away from where I lived which I attended for a few years during elementary. I remember getting picked on by a few girls because of my dance attire. All these girls had those pretty pink leotards with silk ballet slippers. I had a black velvety leotard with white sequins that was a lucky find from a thrift store. My mom bought me black bedroom slippers that I’m pretty sure she found for three bucks at our local Walmart.

There was one day the dance instructor pulled me to the side and told me that I needed to buy new slippers because they weren’t proper attire. When my mom picked me up from school, I told her what the dance teacher said.

I thought it was no big deal because I personally didn’t comprehend our financial status but I remember my mom got really upset. To me, it was just another day at school. To my mom, buying ballet slippers meant paying other bills would be tough. We lived paycheck to paycheck, which didn’t help with the big dreams I had as a kid.

As I grew older, things got even worse financially as my parents split up. My mom slowly started drifting into substance abuse which meant that any spare money went towards that.

I was forced by my mom to quit a production here and there, after auditioning for them. If I was able to stay in the production, I had to skip some rehearsals because my mom couldn’t afford a $2 bus ticket to get me there.  It was absolutely embarrassing. I was never able to fully commit to my love for the performing arts until I grew old enough to make a paycheck of my own.

Don’t get me wrong, I did have people in my life who were kind enough to offer to help me in any way they could.  There were people who would offer to carpool with me, teach me things on days I missed, and helped me with costumes. But I was really embarrassed over it and I never had the courage to ask anyone for help.

There was one time I broke down and actually asked someone for help. I asked a family friend once to pick me up from rehearsal. It was completely downpouring outside and the bus wouldn’t be there for another hour.  I was completely soaked by the time I called them. They agreed to pick me up. As I climbed into their car, they started ranting about how they won’t ever do this again and that I needed to figure it out myself.  I was 14.

Do I think my life would’ve been different and potentially easier if my mom was more financially stable? Oh absolutely. However, I feel my family’s economical status is what truly drove my passion for the performing arts.

I worked much harder because it was something that I wasn’t able to take for granted. I may have not been able to have the shiny, flashy costumes or stage makeup that wasn’t bought from a Dollar Tree. I don’t feel that was important because I was able to have a unique experience that was different from most of the people in the room.